Passages: Jacqueline Barbara Austin, 1941-2015

Jacqueline Barbara Austin, 1941-2015

It is with great sadness that I write these words: my mother passed away on Monday 22 June 2015 after a long illness. Many readers know that preserving my mother's stories during her struggle with early onset Alzheimer's Disease was one of the main reasons for starting Destination: Austin Family.

Below is Mom's obituary which I had written earlier in the year. I highly recommend that everyone compose an obituary now for not just their parents but themselves as well. A memorial service is being planned for August back home in Liberty, NY where I grew up and where most of my family and friends still reside.

Jacqueline Austin MacEntee

Jacqueline Austin MacEntee, former resident of Liberty, NY, died on June 22, 2015, at Mountainside Residential Care Center in Margaretville, NY after a long illness. She was 73 years old. 

The daughter of the late Alfred J. Austin and Anna Henneberg Austin, Jackie was born July 12, 1941, in Jersey City, NJ. A family statement reads: “Mom moved to Sullivan County as a young girl and raised two boys in Liberty while working at the New York Telephone Company, the Monticello Police Department and Mr. Willy’s in Forestburg. Many will remember her as an active, vibrant and gregarious woman who adored her children and grandchildren as well as all her family and friends. We are indebted to all those who helped out during the past 15 years while Alzheimer’s Disease slowly and painfully removed this bright light from our lives.” 

Survivors include two sons, Thomas MacEntee and his partner, George Arvanites of Chicago, IL, and Michael MacEntee and his wife Vicky Ferrell MacEntee of Charleston, SC; three sisters, Jo’el DeStefano of Toms River, NJ, Judith Froehlich of Honesdale, PA, and Jennifer Startup of Kerhonkson, NY; four brothers, Lawrence (Butch) Austin of White Sulphur Springs, NY, Lee (Jerry) Austin of Halcott Center, NY, Alfred Austin of Raleigh, NC, and Lemuel Austin of Loch Sheldrake, NY; five grandchildren, Amber Jane MacEntee, Corwin MacEntee, Conner MacEntee, Jacqueline Rose Pearson and Patrick Pearson, all of Virginia; and many nieces and nephews. Jacqueline was pre-deceased by sisters Patricia May, Joan Toher, June Finkle, and Julia Jackson. 

A memorial service is planned for August, 2015 in Liberty, NY. 

Donations in memory of Jackie can be made to: Catskill Area Hospice, 1 Birchwood Drive, Oneonta, NY 13820.

Source: "Obituaries," Times-Herald Record (Middletown, New York), electronic newspaper, archived, (http://recordonline.com: accessed 24 June 2015), obituary for Jacqueline Austin MacEntee.

© 2015, copyright Thomas MacEntee. All rights reserved.

Sunday's Obituary: Catherine Sullivan O'Keefe 1837-1928

Mrs. Catherine O'Keefe

Former Resident of Lowville Dies in New York—Funeral at St. Peter's Church Today.

Mrs. Catherine Sullivan O'Keefe, 91, a former resident of Lowville died Saturday night at the home of her daughter, Mrs. W.D. Austin, New York. The remains were brought to the undertaking rooms of Graves & Virkler, Lowville, Wednesday, and funeral services will be held from St. Peter's church at 9:30 this morning. Burial will be in Rural cemetery.

Mrs. O'Keefe was born in Albany in April, 1837, but came as a child to Lowville with her parents. Practically all her long life was spent in this village, until ten years ago, when she sold her home here and went to love with her daughters. Her husband, David O'Keefe, died in 1870.

Surviving are a sister, Mrs. Margaret O'Neil, of this village; four daughters, Mrs. Austin and Miss Ella O'Keefe of New York; Mrs. David Barry, of Dedham, Mass., and Mrs. James Downey, Birmingham, Ala, and two sons, Frank D. O'Keefe, Carthage, and Maurice O'Keefe, of Staten Island. A sister, Mrs. Elizabeth Conway, 83, died in this village about a month ago.

* * *

Note: Catherine Sullivan was my 3rd great-grandmother (Thomas MacEntee > Jacqueline Austin > Alfred Austin > John Ralph Austin > William Dence Austin > Catherine O'Keefe > Catherine Sullivan) and I have her wedding silver from the late 1850s.

Source: Mrs. Catherine O'Keefe, digital image, NYS Historic Newspapers (http://nyshistoricnewspapers.org/, accessed 13 July 2014), Lowville Journal Republic, published 16 February 1928, Volume 69, Number 17, p. 5, col. 3.

© 2014, copyright Thomas MacEntee. All rights reserved.

Passages: Gerard F. May

I just found out that my uncle, Gerard F. May, passed away last Wednesday, September 14, 2011 in New Milford, New Jersey. Known to the family as "Roddy," he was born on November 16, 1933 and married my mother's half-sister Anna Patricia Larson on January 21, 1956.

They lived for many years in New Milford, New Jersey and I have fond memories of trips down to their house from where I grew up in Liberty, New York.  My aunt Pat was the first of her siblings to be diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and passed away on October 12, 2006 at age 73.

Both my aunt and uncle were involved with the Catholic Church especially with the Knights of Columbus. I enjoyed spending time with them and for me they were, and continue to be, part of my memories of home. I offer my condolences to their children Dee, Fred and Gerard. The obituary can be viewed here.

© 2011, copyright Thomas MacEntee

Obituary Photos

There seems to be a raging discussion in the Dear Abby column today as to the use of obituary photos in newspapers and whether a photo should be "current" or show the deceased in the prime of their life.

For years, I was of the belief that the photo should be current but now that I've been exposed to more and more family photographs and reading blogs such as Shades Of the Departed, I am in agreement with most people: photos from the deceased's "prime of life" time are much better.

When newspapers first started running photos in obituaries (and it is a money-maker since it increases the cost of the announcement), I thought it was misleading to see a photo of an 84 year old woman that looked as if she were 34. Thinking that Cher had nothing on this woman, I would usually have to reread the obituary to make sure the age at time of death wasn't 48 instead of 84.

And putting aside valid reasons such as there not being any current photos of the deceased available, as I grow older I can see the wisdom of using a photo from the earlier years of the departed. In my mind, I often see myself as 25 or 30 and not my current mid-40s age. And as the aging process progresses, I'm sure I will keep this perspective.

An obituary for many is not just an announcement of one's passing. It is a short summary of one's life - achievements, successes, losses, battles - and should sum up the "essence" of that person.

Look at the poll in the upper right about this topic and cast your vote. And - if you could select one photo that depicted your "essence," which photo would that be?

Obit Madness - Oh No She Didn't!

Another great obituary. From The News & Observer, Raleigh, NC:

ON JUNE 3, 2005 at 10:45 p.m. in Memphis, Tennessee, Dorothy Gibson Cully, 86, died peacefully, while in the loving care of her two favorite children, Barbara and David. All of her breath leaked out.

The mother of four children, grandmother to 11, great-grandmother to nine, devoted wife for 56 years to the late Ralph Chester Cully and a true friend to many, Dot had been active as a volunteer in the Catholic Church and other community charities for much of the past 25 years.

She was born the second child of six in 1919 as Frances Dorothy Gibson, daughter to Kathleen Heard Gibson and Calvin Hooper Gibson, an inventor best known as the first person since the Middle Ages to calculate the arcane lead-to-gold formula. Unable to actually prove this complex theory scientifically, and frustrated by the cruel conspiracy of the so-called "scientific community" working against his efforts, he ultimately stuck his head in a heated gas oven with a golden delicious apple propped in his mouth. Miraculously, the apple was saved for the evening dessert. Calvin was not.

Native Marylanders and long time Baltimore, Kent Island and Ocean City residents, Ralph and Dot later resided in Lakeland, Florida and Virginia Beach, Virginia. Several years after Ralph's death, Dot moved to Raleigh in 2001, where she lived with her son, David.

At the time of her death, Dot was visiting her daughter, Carol in Memphis. Carol and her husband, Ron, away from home attending a "very important conference" at a posh Florida resort, rushed home 10 days later after learning of the death. Dot's other children, dutifully at their mother's side helping with the normal last minute arrangements - hospice notification, funeral parlor notice, revising the last will, etc. - happily picked up the considerable slack of the absent former heiress.

Dot is warmly remembered as a generous, spiritually strong, resourceful, tolerant and smart woman, who was always ready to help and never judged others or their shortcomings. Dot always found time to knit sweaters, sew quilts and send written notes to the family children, all while working a full time job, volunteering as Girl Scout leader and donating considerable time to local charities and the neighborhood Catholic Church.

Dot graduated from Eastern High School at 15, worked in Baltimore full time from 1934 to 1979, beginning as a factory worker at Cross & Blackwell and retiring after 30 years as property manager and controller for a Baltimore conglomerate, Housing Engineering Company, all while raising four children, two of who are fairly normal.

An Irishwoman proud of and curious about her heritage, she was a voracious reader of historical novels, particularly those about the glories and trials of Ireland. Dot also loved to travel, her favorite destination being Eire's auld sod, where she dreamed of the magic, mystery and legend of the Emerald Isle.

Dot Cully is survived by her sisters, Ginny Torrico in Virginia, Marian Lee in Florida and Eileen Adams in Baltimore; her brother, Russell Gibson of Fallston, Maryland; her children, Barbara Frost of Ocean City, Maryland, Carol Meroney of Memphis, Tennessee, David Cully of Raleigh, North Carolina and Stephen Cully of Baltimore, Maryland.

Contributions to the Wake County (NC) Hospice Services are welcomed. Opinions about the details of this obit are not, since Mom would have liked it this way.

Obit Madness - Ida Mae Russell Sills

At first, I thought for sure this was a hoax. So I went to Snopes where I verify all Internet items which cast a dubious shadow. I could find no reference to the dear Ida Mae Russell Sills. I did a bit more sleuthing and found an article which gave background about the true and correct paid death notice. In addition, there is a Legacy.com guest book about Mrs. Sills which is quickly filling up. See the links at the end of the obituary for more information.

From The Memphis Flyer, Memphis TN:

Sunday, April 13, 2008

IDA MAE RUSSELL SILLS began this world as Betty Jean Cherry, the daughter of Howard Cherry and Betty Thompson of Middle Tennessee. In the 1930s it was unthinkable for a child to be born to a single mother. The Thompsons contracted Georgia Tann at the Tennessee Children's Home. Georgia, now famous for selling babies, found a couple who was willing to purchase the child. Everett and Elsie Russell were chosen, who had already adopted one high profile Memphis baby. The Russells renamed their new baby Ida Mae.

Ida Mae had a rich but strict childhood. Ida graduated from Messick High School in 1950 and attended Memphis State University. Ida married High School friend, Karl Hadaway. On January 31, 1953, a child was born named Mary Denise. The marriage decayed and the couple divorced in 1954. Ida's marriage to Karl was a three ring circus, engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Ida met and married Albert Sills in 1960. Ida said "I never knew what real happiness was until I got remarried, then it was too late." Ida Mae and Albert settled down in Fox Meadows area of Memphis. Albert wanted a son, Ida wanted a dog. Ida quoted "with my way we just ruin the carpet." But on March 6, 1966, a son was happily born named Lee.

Albert and Ida owned several dry cleaners and restaurants. Owning your own business with your spouse in the best of times is challenging. Ida worked all day as a Supervisor at the phone company, she would come home and prepare a home cooked meal for the entire family. She managed to pay all the bills, balance the books of the family business and at the end of a long day still be a supporting mother and loving wife. Ida said "Children grow up so fast they're like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers."

Ida grimaced daily with anticipation of what her gifted children would bring home and ask "Mom can I keep it!" For Lee it was stray animals but Ida's daughter Denise, well she brought home a steady stream of poor hungry musician friends (are there any other kind). No one was ever turned away or left hungry. It is still a mystery how Ida fed, supported and influenced so many individuals on her budget. At Ida's house gravy was a beverage.

Albert retired in 1985, Ida said "great I now get twice the husband and only half the income." Lee went off to college and Denise got married and had a son named Josh. Ida retired from Ma Bell in 1989. After a long illness, Albert passed away from lung cancer.

In Ida's spare time she became an assistant coach to the University of Memphis Tigers, The Memphis Grizzlies, The LA Lakers and The Miami Heat, if not in reality in her mind. As a professional armchair consultant to the NBA, Ida was nicknamed Hoop Mama Two. Ball handling and dribbling was Ida Mae's biggest weakness.

If Albert was the frog prince, Ida was certainly the frog queen. Ida loved and collected frogs from all over the world. Ida moved to Waverly Gardens with her dog Raven where she made a lot of new friends.

Ida developed a cold that progressed into pneumonia. Now Ida was a smoker. She said "to quit smoking well that's easy. I ought to know. I have done it a thousand times" but the years of smoking left Ida's lungs damaged and beyond repair. On this Good Friday March 21, 2008, Ida Mae Russell Sills slipped away and joined her beloved daughter in Heaven. Fortunately her husband Albert preceded her and joined his mother in a much warmer climate.

Ida leaves behind a best friend Betty Brown of Memphis. Few people in this world are privileged to have such a beloved sister. They had many adventures, loves and tragedies over their 70 years of friendship and sisterhood. Ida also leaves one of her greatest joys, her grandson Josh. Josh has been the light of her life since his birth. Ida regrets not being here to influence his future children, but she will be watching.

Ida lost her daughter Denise Sills Barnes 2 years ago. Denise was a successful local Memphis singer and musician and was a manager with Nike for 15 years. Ida also leaves her son in law Roland Barnes, an engineer with Federal Express. Roland has been devoted when many would have moved on after their wife's death. And finally she leaves her son, her baby Lee. Lee lives in Orange County California and is President of Kredit Banque.

Ida influenced so many people, too many to list. Ida is now a falling star who has finally found her place next to her daughter in a lovely constellation, where she will sparkle in the heavens forever. In Lieu of flowers please give the gift of life to Saint Jude Children's Hospital in Ida's name. There will be a celebration of life, Saturday April, 19 from 4:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. at Waverly Gardens on Knight Arnold Road.

More on the Ida Mae Russell Sills obituary

Ida Mae Russell Sills Guest Book on Legacy.com

Obituary Written in the 1st Person Perspective

I have been volunteering for the Obituary Daily Times since this past March and I enter index information for obituaries in my hometown newspaper, The Times-Herald Record. So far, there are over 13 million obituaries indexed and it has been such a valuable resource to me that I decided to volunteer and "give back."

This morning, while I was entering data, I came across my first instance of an obituary written from the 1st person perspective (see below). Has anyone encountered this before or is it a more modern invention? Is the practice particular to a certain region of the United States or a certain faith or culture?

Conn, Hazeline Patterson Potts
Milton, NY

My name is Hazeline Patterson Potts Conn. I was born to Hazeline and Van Burn Potts. My journey began in Huntersville, North Carolina, May 12, 1913. There, I grew up on our family farm with my 2 sisters, Margaret and Anne.

In 1934, I graduated from Appalachian State Teachers College. From there I moved to New York City to work as a Governess. In 1940, I married the love of my life, Theodore Jack Conn at my home Church Historic Hopewell Presbyterian. We began our life together in Milton, New York, where we founded T. Jack Conn Cold Storage on Route 9W in Milton, which is now known as Conn Freezer Warehouses.

Here we lived, worked and raised our family of three children. Throughout our 67 years of marriage, we were blessed with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren: our son, Theodore Van Conn and his wife, Anne of Milton; our daughter, Hazeline Conn Moss and her husband, Ronald Moss of Cherryville, NC; our daughter, Margaret Conn Horton and her husband, Edward of Milton. We knew the joy of 7 grandchildren: Leonard Jack Conn and his wife, Kim of Milton; Susan Horton-Drivas and her husband, Manny of Milton; Shawn Conn Fred and her husband, Chris of Highland Mills; Michele Horton-Corrado and her husband, John of Marlboro; Jack Moss and his wife, Tonya of Clemmons, NC; and Ashley Conn Horton of Milton.

I was predeceased by my husband, Jack, in September of 2007, my sister, Margaret Parks and my grandson, David Conn Moss of Cherryville, NC in 1987. I am survived by my 96 year old sister, Anne Potts McElroy of Huntersville, NC. I was happy to know the joys of eight great-grandchildren: Max, Lillie and Jack Drivas; Makenzie and Harrison Conn; and Dylan, Kylie and Carson Fred. I am very thankful for my good friends and dedicated health care providers, Marie, and Andrea.

I lived a successful life in the hamlet of Milton, Town of Marlborough as the oldest living member of the United Methodist Church of Milton and Marlboro. I enjoyed the role of a 4-H Leader and time spent with my friends of the Methodist Woman's Quilting Bee.

In my retirement years, I loved to sew and vacation at my family home in North Carolina. My name is Hazeline Patterson Potts Conn, and after 94 years of life, my journey ended on Friday, April 25, 2008 at my home in Milton.

Calling hours will be from 4 to 8 p.m., Tuesday, April 29, at The DiDonato Funeral Home, 1290 Route 9W, Marlboro, NY.

Funeral Services will be held at 12 noon at the United Methodist Church of Milton and Marlboro. Burial service will follow at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Middlehope.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the United Methodist Church of Milton and Marlboro.

Arrangements are entrusted to Carl J. DiDonato and Lawrence M. Cavazza of The DiDonato Funeral Service, Inc.; 845-236-4300.

Published in the Times Herald-Record on 4/28/2008.

Frustrating Search - Searching Newspaper Archives for Genealogy Data

Don't you hate it when you are trying to find information on a known event and the Internet just doesn't seem to cooperate?

I have been trying to document a tragic incident that happened in 1925 to Anna T. McPhillps, the wife of my great-granduncle Maurice I. Austin. From the story that I heard through the family, Anna died in the mid 1920's after being struck by a car that ran up on the sidewalk and pinned her against a building.

I was able to find the New York Times obituary for Anna Austin listed on Sunday, May 10, 1925 using Google's new News Archive feature. I love this part of Google especially since it listed the first line of the obituary ("Anna Austin, suddenly on May 8, wife of Maurice I. Austin" . . .) whereas using the New York Times' website does not reveal any information. NYT wants $4.95 to download the article (their archives are now free but only from 1857 up to 1923). I'm not sure it is worth close to five bucks especially since most of the info is probably already listed in the Google News Archive search.

I have a subscription to the Ancestry website which has many newspaper archives including those on Newspaper Archives (more about this last site in a minute). I thought for sure I would be able to find the article for free. After four hours of searching I gave up.

A warning about Newspaper Archives: I was almost ready to sign up for a month of the service at $16.50 a month (they sell other packages such as one full year for $99 or $8.25 a month) to see if I could find the obituary and other articles I need. Just as I had entered all my info and my credit card details, I thought "better check the cancellation policy." It's a good thing I did! The charge becomes an instantly renewable charge on a monthly basis, meaning that they will continue to charge your card until you tell them otherwise. That is standard practice on many web services but here's the kicker: once you email them the cancellation, you still need to download a form and fax it back to them! What a pain in the tuchas if you ask me (by the way, tuchas is Spanish for "innuendo"). I find it odd that they will easily take your credit card info when you sign up, but then you need to go through hoops to cancel. Don't bother with Newspaper Archives - there have to be other ways of getting this info. One would be to sign up for an Ancestry subscription since it uses Newspaper Archives data or use free websites. I'll write more about free resources especially for upstate New York research in a later post.

The photo: Anna McPhillips Austin, taken around 1923. This is one of my favorite photos from my family.