New Years Day - Spent and Spending

Miriam over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has a prompt about New Year's and here's a summary of my memories of New Years' past.

Do you remember the first time you were allowed to stay up and see in the New Year? How old were you?

My first vivid memory was spending New Year's Eve with my cousin Debbie over at her house in Accord, New York. We were about a year apart in age and we had become good friends besides being first cousins. I remember that we played lots of board games (both loving monopoly) and we were listening to some "Top 100 Songs of ______" radio program. We both swore we would stay up all night to make sure we heard them all.

How did you and your typically spend New Year's Eve during your youth? Did you go to a Watch Night Service and participate in communion and prayer? Did you watch the ball drop in Times Square on television? Did your community have a fireworks show?

We always watched the ball being dropped at Times Square since New York City was only 90 miles from our house - we connected more with that. When I was growing up there were no fireworks since fireworks were always associated with warm weather.

Did you have first-footers, mummers, or bang pots and pans on your front porch? Did you wear party hats and use noisemakers?

Wow, mentioning mummers brings back memories of watching all the parades on television on New Year's Day including the Mummers parade in Philadelphia. Since my godparents used to own a tavern, my brother and I always had access to silly hats and noisemakers.

If New Year's Eve involved feasting of some kind, what were the usual fare and beverages?

Ham was king of the dinner table on New Year's Day. And then later in that week Mom would take the ham bone and make pea soup - a tradition I still follow.

How do all of the above compare to the way you celebrate New Year's Eve now?

Gosh I think I've become so "old" when I look back. We do try to have an "open house" starting at 2pm on New Years Day since most people can attend. Lots of food on a large buffet table and people just catch up on what they've done the past year and what their hopes are for the new year.

What about New Year's Resolutions? Did you make any when you were younger? Do you make them now? How well do you keep them? Was there any year when you really did a fabulous job at keeping them? What were your goals and how did you keep them?

I believe one needs resolutions (which are merely goals) every day so trying to wait until the new year doesn't mean much to me - simply delaying what you should be doing now. The year I lost over 100 pounds was probably my best in terms of New Year's resolutions although the feat actually took 18 months to accomplish.

How did you typically spend New Year's Day in your childhood and youth? Did you visit family and friends? Did your family host an Open House? Did you watch the Tournament of Roses Parade and Rose Bowl game or another favorite sport? Or did you go to your favorite ski resort?

Mom always loved football and would watch many of the college bowl games in the afternoon, after my brother and I watched our fill of parades. Dinner would be cooking and we'd just relax.

How does it compare to the way you spend New Year's Day now?

If we host our Open House then it is a crazy day. If not, we just relax, watch DVDs from our massive collection or I am working on genealogy!!

Are there any special customs from your heritage that are integrated into your New Year's celebrations?

Mom used to save the wishbone from the Christmas turkey to be "split" by me and my brother on New Years Day.

If you celebrate Christmas or another seasonal holiday before the New Year, when do you take down the decorations and put them away?

I grew up leaving all decorations up for "little Christmas" or the Epiphany on the 5th of January. In recent years, I opt to remove decorations on New Years Day since it feels like I am ushering out the old year and preparing for the new.

Miriam over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has started up her prompts and here is how I've tackled Fall!

*How do you feel about fall? Is it a favorite season, or do you prefer another?

Autumn or Fall is actually my favorite season - mostly since it gives me a respite from the heat of Summer which is my least favorite season!

*What are your favorite fall activities (indoor or out)?

I love to get out and walk if possible - with a lack of heat and humidity it is so much easier to breathe for me. I also like to see the changes of the season: vegetable gardens at their peak before the frost, leaves changing color, etc.

*What are your favorite fall sports (to watch or play)?

I am not a big sports fan, period. To me football is a nuisance since it always delays "60 Minutes" on television.

*Do you have a favorite fall outfit to wear? Corduroy slacks and plaid flannel shirt, a cozy sweater, etc.?

About early October here in Chicago, I rearrange the armoire and place most shorts and t-shirts in the lower drawers and bring up the sweat pants, khakis and fleece from the lower drawers.

*Do you have any particular household or garden chores that you regularly do just in autumn?

Finish the weeding, bring the salt out of storage (if there is any left), bring out the rakes and snow shovels for easy access. I also go around and make sure all my windows are closed at the top so no heat escapes as it gets colder.

*Have you ever gone leaf peeping?

That just sounds dirty. We called it "leafing" and the people from New York City who would come up during the weekend to view the leaves were called "leafers."

*What observances of nature do you regularly watch (birds flying south, squirrels preparing for winter, etc.)?

Since I moved to Chicago four years ago, I've become fascinated with the Canadian geese and their flight patterns. Since I live close to Lake Michigan, many of the geese seem to congregate in the park land along the shore. And each night you can hear large numbers (meaning several groups since most flocks are about 15 geese and it requires an odd number to form that "v" pattern) fly south along the lakeshore.

*What flowers that bloom during this season do you especially like?

Mums, of course, and Chinese lanterns which I try to buy fresh at the farmer's market and then dry.

*Do you visit any orchards, pumpkin patches, or corn mazes? 

Growing up we used to head over to the Cider Mill at North Branch along the Delaware River. You could bring your own apples to be pressed or watch them press their own and make a gallon of fresh cider for you!

*What about the local fair?

Since I grew up in a place where it frequently snowed before Halloween, most fairs including farmer's markets were done by Labor Day.

*Do you do any kind of harvesting or food preparation (canning, drying, smoking)?

I have memories of relatives taking a pig in for slaughter or if they didn't house the pig themselves, then purchasing half a pig and placing all the cut up parts in the freezer for the winter.

*What about hunting?

I never hunted myself but I do remember when it was bow and arrow season for deer and especially the first day of rifle hunting for deer. Most local schools closed for the first day and children were not allowed to play outside if they lived in rural wooded areas.

*Do you do any kind of fall traveling, other than holiday travels?

I don't take trips to view fall foliage but my favorite time to make a genealogy trip and to traipse around cemeteries is when I have to walk through leaves on chilly but sunny Fall days!

*Which is your favorite fall holiday, and why (Hallowe'en, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, or others)?

Thanksgiving Day is one of my favorites since I like to cook. It makes for a busy time the years that I need to host but it is nice to have everyone over in one place for the day.

*What are your favorite fresh foods that are in season at this time? Favorite fall recipes or beverages?

Brussel sprouts - preferably on the stalk is the way they should be bought at the farmer's market. Bring them home and saute in brown butter then sprinkle with salt, pepper and a pinch of nutmeg. I also love butternut and acorn squash!

*Share favorite memories of fall from your childhood.

I loved to rake leaves and then play in the large piles, especially maple leaves. I also remember more than one Fall when snow fell in early October which was not really that much fun.

*What do you least like about this season?

It passes too quickly and usually it turns to Winter before December 20th!

*What family birthdays, anniversaries, or events are commemorated in the fall? Are there any significant family history events that occurred during summer?

My family has very few Fall birthdays or anniversaries - they all seem to occur during the month of July!

*Do you have any hobbies that you take up during the fall months?

In September I usually start planning for Christmas - I select the holiday cards to send, decide what charity to work with for the season, and plan the decorations for the tree.

Genea-Blogger's Picnic

Lemuel, Lee and Alfred Austin, Jr. at the Austin Family Reunion, Loch Sheldrake, New York, Summer 1992. Photograph. Digital image. Privately held by Thomas MacEntee, [ADDRESS FOR PRIVATE USE,] Chicago, Illinois. 2008.

This post serves double-duty (I like when I can kill two blog posting birds with one stone!): Bill West over at West In New England proposed that there by a Genea-Blogger's Picnic which I think is a great idea. And with that Miriam over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants added a few more journaling prompts to assist in completing the post. So here goes.

What food does your family serve at picnics?

First off, where I grew up in upstate New York, we don't call the gatherings picnics per se - usually everyone uses the term "cookout." It was a given that when dining al fresco with family, it involved the grilling of some sort of meat - harkening back to our cave-dwelling ancestors. We just didn't have to club women over the head to show up or cook the meal. Thank goodness for progress.

Our typical fare was as follows with some dishes that I still make today:

Sausage and peppers
Hamburgers (or "Hamburg" as my grandmother would call it)
Frankfurters (again the German influence, we didn't say "Hot Dogs")
Sauerkraut
London Broil
Deviled Eggs (my Aunt Pudgie made the best!)
Macaroni Salad (ours always had tuna fish in it)
Potato Salad
Cole Slaw
Various chips, pretzels, cheese thingies, etc.
Condiments such as ketchup, mustard, relish
Watermelon
Ice cream

Are there traditional foods or family recipes?

My mother loved to make London Broil and now that I am here in Chicago it doesn't seem as popular. Instead, I tend to grill boneless leg of lamb and slice it thin like London Broil.

I make cole slaw, both a sweet and a sour version, which was always store-bought when I grew up.

Is there one particular relative's specialty you wish you could taste again or one perfect picnic day you wish you could go back and relive?

It would be either my Aunt Pudgie's Deviled Eggs - always served on a Tupperware container made especially for devlied eggs or my Aunt April's baked beans with lots of bacon and mustard.

You could expand to write about family reunions, past and present, and what kinds of foods were/are brought to them.

I think the first reunion that I remember was really my great-grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary in 1975. John Ralph Austin and Therese McGinnes were married on May 30, 1915 in New York City and 60 years later we gathered everyone (all three children, all 12 grandchildren, and all 40 plus great-grandchildren) for a big celebration.

The other reunion I remember most, was in 1992 at the Fireman's Park in Loch Sheldrake, New York. I believe that all 11 of my mother's siblings were there as well as all their children. My Aunt Pat produced a handmade booklet listing everyone's family group information which has helped me complete research on many of my living relatives.

You could add what dish everyone loved to eat, and which one people were sneaking off to scrap into the garbage so they wouldn't hurt the cook's feelings!

The baked beans that Aunt April made were just the best. I know that she used canned beans as a starter and that's not a bad thing - I hate cooking raw beans! But it was her method of using bacon, mustard and brown sugar - I've never really had any other beans like them. My current recipe is more in the Southwest tradition and is very complicated: it involves making homemade barbecue spice, then barbecue sauce, then the beans.

Is there a picnic basket, old ice chest, a BBQ grill or camp stove, a special dish (physical, not recipe) or picnic cloth that's been handed down in the family and used for decades at picnics, potlucks, or reunions?

We never really used picnic baskets or anything of value when having a cookout. Usually we covered picnic tables with plastic tablecloths or bought rolls of plastic that catering companies would use to cover tables. Utensils were plastic as were the cups. We had way too many little ones around hence the disposable stuff.

Is there a favorite campground, park, home, or meeting place where picnics or reunions regularly occurred?

Usually my mother's house in Liberty, New York was the location for celebrations. I think it started when I moved to California and only visited about once a year. Rather than take me around to relatives on some sort of "tour" it was easier for everyone to come over and have a cookout.

What about unwelcome guests like ants, mosquitoes, and yellow jackets? Raccoons, anyone?

Insect life was a given especially since I grew up in a rural area. We had raccoons at night but we always secured our garbage cans with locks.

What favorite picnic or reunion photos do you have, especially ancestral?

Unfortunately I don't have very many photos - I have those from the 60th wedding anniversary and the one above showing my three uncles watching a family softball game at the 1992 reunion.

Doctor, No!

Miriam over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has another scary prompt this week - The Doctor!

Who was your doctor or health practitioner when you were growing up?

For pediatrics, most people in Sullivan County went to see Dr. Fried and Dr. Denman in Livingston Manor. I have memories of my vaccinations and the oral polio vaccination there. And I was absolutely floored when I was reviewing nursing homes for my mother and guess who was the chief doctor at one of them - and I don't mean a patient - Dr. Denman! He must be about 85 years old now.

How often did you go to the doctor? Every year for a check-up, or just when you were ill?

As a child I did not go to the doctor unless necessary - there were physicals and vaccinations as required for school, of course.

Did you have a lot of illnesses as a child? Or were you fairly healthy?

I was fairly healthy but plagued with many ENT (ear, nose & throat) problems. I had my tonsils out at age 10 and my ears operated on at the same time. I do remember that my brother and I had scarlet fever - this was unusual at that time since most people remember it as a disease from the 19th and early 20th centuries. I remember we were pretty sick.

Did you have any injuries (broken bones) or surgeries? Have you ever had to be hospitalized?

No injuries as a child - my brother was the accident-prone one, from broken arm, to rose bush through the palm to curtain rod into the elbow.

What specialists did you have to see?

No real specialists as a child.

Did you have to see an optometrist and/or wear glasses?

Fortunately, I did not need glasses until I was 35 and that was due to years of computer work (I am near-sighted in one eye and far-sighted in the other).

Was going to the doctor a pleasant or unpleasant experience? Share both your most unpleasant and your favorite medical memories.

It wasn't exactly pleasant but it was not dreaded like the dentist. As I got older my doctor was the same as my mother's doctor - Dr. Schiff in Liberty. He was what I call an "old timer" - very gruff, no nonsense, and he and his nurse still smoked like chimneys.

As an adult, how do your current medical experiences compared with those of your childhood?

Hah! Where do I begin? Well I have been pretty fortunate to have reached my mid-40s without much damage except for severe arthritis in both hips. Despite being accused of "shaking it" too much, the cause is years of hardcore weightlifting, running and ballroom dancing in the 1980s and 1990s. While the exercise is/was great, it has worn down my joints significantly to the point where some days I can only walk with the assistance of a cane.

Do you still see the same doctor?

I am now in Chicago and have a new doctor who is absolutely wonderful! He takes time to listen, doesn't rush me, and can often squeeze me in on the same day when I call.

What kinds of health problems are prevalent in your family? Are there any genetic diseases of which your relatives should be made aware? How have you attempted to avoid these risks or diseases?

Readers know that Alzheimer's Disease, the genetic form which comprises about 15% of all cases, runs in my family, mainly among the women on my maternal side. While I do worry about Alzheimer's Disease (and panic when I can't remember where my keys are), as I wrote here, I would welcome a test that could determine whether or not you are likely to get the disease.

Are there any doctors, surgeons, specialists, nurses or other health practitioners in your family, or in your ancestry?

The medical arts are not prevelant in my family - even going far back. I am not sure why this is the case.

Are there any stories about certain medical problems or injuries, or about interactions with medical practitioners that have been handed down through the generations?

There are many lines of "healthy stock" among my family, which means quite a bit of longevity both among men and women. And this is even among people who avoid seeing doctors at all costs. So the stories and tales are very few.

A Fistful of Teeth

Miriam over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has a scary prompt this week - The Dentist!

Who was/were your childhood dentist(s)? Was he/she your family dentist?

I think it was the dentist from the movie Marathon Man. Seriously, the first dentist I encountered was Dr. Pollack in my hometown. A very nice man but since he had been my mother's dentist and was up there in years, his hands shook quite a bit which was unnerving, especially when it came to cavity drilling. Some days I thought for sure I'd end up using my cheek as a sieve.

Did you like or dread going to the dentist? Why?

Hated it. The reason is due to my long and tortured dental history. Not trying to give away any of the answers below, but here it is in a nutshell:

- I was born with what my family called "Irish Teeth"

- My mother took or I was given tetracylcine as a small child which severely stained my teeth

- I suffered from dentinogensis imperfecta where the teeth, especially the second set, are formed without enamel and are easily broken

- I required orthodontic work to pull a front tooth down from the gum just below my nose

Enough said.

Did you ever have cavities as a kid, or were you one of those cavity-free kids?

Suprisingly, I did not have many cavities - just one - as a kid. Of course, I didn't have many teeth so that made it kind of easy.

Did you ever need oral surgery or braces?

As I said above, I had orthodontic braces to pull a front tooth down into place and to align the other teeth. Looking back, this was a large expense for my mother and was not covered by insurance.

I also have had two major oral surgeries (requiring general anesthesia) and numerous extractions involving novacaine.

Did you ever knock a tooth out (accidentally or on purpose)?

Oh yes. I usually just had a cousin pretend he was playing the xylophone on my teeth and one would fall out.

What was the tooth fairy tradition in your childhood home? If she visited your house, how much did she pay per tooth? Did she find the tooth under your pillow or in a glass of water?

The tooth fairy was way too active in my house especially with my teeth. But I felt sort of rooked since many of my "baby teeth" would not come out by themselves and required extraction at the dentist.

I left my tooth under the pillow and in the morning there was usually a quarter in its place. One time there was a miniature bottle of scotch. I don't know what that was all about but my mother quickly snatched it out of my hand the next morning and said that the Tooth Fairy obviously made a mistake. LOL.

What was the worst dental exam or procedure you had done?

Hmmmm - hard to pick since there have been so many. My most recent surgery in April 2005 where I had all my teeth removed in preparation for dentures (see below).

What is your favorite memory of the dentist?

Leaving his office.

How have your adult experiences at the dentist compared with those of your childhood?

About the same - my mother could not believe how I just took all the visits in stride and almost never complained about the pain or inconvenience. To me, it was just a fact of life even though my brother never suffered the dental horrors that I had.

Do you still have the same dentist? Why or why not?

I can proudly say that I am now dentist free. Well, the dentist I have is a good friend of mine here in Chicago who actually runs a denture manufacturing shop so I can go back to him for realignment when I need to.

If you have children, what is/was the tooth fairy tradition for them?

Miniature bottles of scotch.

Have you had to have dentures or bridgework?

I finally have dentures and I can truly say that it is a relief. During the past few years I kept getting infections in my mouth due to the state of my teeth. When the last one went up into my right eye, I said enough is enough - they had to come out. My biggest fear was having the infection travel to my heart or somewhere else.

No regrets at all - it is a nuisance to take them out and put them in though. I have considered implants but right now most insurance companies consider them to be "cosmetic" in nature and thus the cost is not covered.

Describe your oral health history and relate your opinion as to the causes behind your good or poor oral health.

Much of my poor oral health is due to genetics. All of my mother's siblings have dentures and suffered the same problems that I did. I just thought that in my time there had been enough advances made to save my teeth. If I had known all the time, money and torture involved which ultimately led to dentures anyway, I would have had dentures done almost 30 years ago.

Are there any dentists, oral surgeons, orthodontists, dental technicians or assistants in your family tree?

None.

Are there any stories in your family history about going to the dentist and the kinds of treatments experienced in the old days?

One curious story from my great-grandmother Therese McGinnis Austin: she stated that back when she was a child, there was no toothpaste. Basically they brushed their teeth with ashes and a stick. Sounds like one of those "family legends" handed down to show how hard life was back then. Sort of like "Grandpa had to walk five miles to school - uphill - each way and carried a hot potato in his pocket to keep warm in the winter."

Spring

Miriam over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has a great prompt this week - Spring!

How do you feel about Spring? Is it a favorite season of yours, or a least-favorite? Why?

Spring is my second favorite season, after Autumn. Right now is the part of Spring I like the least: the lawns are brown and muddy, grass is dead, no leaves on the trees, and the temperatures fluctuate too much - it is 66 degrees today here in Chicago but it will be barely in the 40s by the end of the week.

What are your favorite Spring activities? Do they include gardening and yardwork? House repairs or touch-ups?

Spring is my chance to do touch-ups around the house and also map out home improvement projects. I have two this year: replace the drawers on the built-in 100 year old china cabinet in my dining room with cabinet doors; and refinish the bathroom part of the master bedroom suite.

Do you have favorite Spring flowers or blossoming trees?

I remember dogwood growing up and I am very partial to hyacinths.

What are your favorite Spring sports, either as a participant or as an observer? While basketball is wrapping up in March Madness, baseball, track and field, tennis, and golf are starting up in schools across the nation.

I am not a sports person, at least not in the team sports sense. I always drifted more towards the personal sports like weightlifting where I challenged myself and not others. Also, the current nature of sports in this country disturbs me - we pay some players more for one game than we do a teacher's annual salary. I'd like to see us raise children who see teachers as their idols and heroes, and not the latest sports star hawking his or her line of Nike shoes.

Here in Spokane, Spring is welcomed with such community events as Bloomsday Run (one of the largest in the nation) and the Lilac Festival. Does your community have Spring events, and what is the extent of your participation?

In Chicago we have the Easter Flower Show at Marshall Field's (I still can't bring myself to say Macy's!), opening day for the Cubs at Wrigley Field, the reopening of Buckingham Fountain, and Spring will close on Memorial Day weekend when we hold Bike the Drive: Lakeshore Drive is closed - all 27 miles - and taken over by bicyclists of all ages.

Do you have a regular Spring cleaning time? When is it and what does it include?

I usually have to wait until all danger of snow is gone here in Chicago - my biggest cleaning chore is salt removal. I usually put leather conditioner on my huge leather sofa, clean the windows, change the filter on the furnace/air conditioner, check smoke alarm batteries, put away the flannel sheets and bring out the lighter comforters as well, put away winter clothes and donate some to local charity, pull out recipes for cole slaw, baked beans, fried green tomatoes and all my favorite summer foods!

What are your favorite Spring holidays? Easter or Passover, Mother's Day, Earth Day, Memorial Day are a few.

Least favorite: Tax Day.

What are some of your favorite foods that are in season during Spring?

Asparagus (grilled then drizzled with asparagus and olive oil), English peas, rhubarb.

Ah-choo! What do you like least about Spring?

My allergies act up - this is the first year that I have had to take Allegra D each day all year rather than just seasonally. I also don't care for all the rain!

Do you have favorite memories of Spring Break from your school or college years?

I usually didn't travel home on Spring break - it was a chance to catch up on studies or just take some time and enjoy wandering around Washington, DC.

What family birthdays, anniversaries, or events are commemorated in the Spring? Are there any significant family history events that occurred during Spring?

Most of the birthdays among my mother's siblings occur in July - which is weird since there are 12 kids and the girls all have names that start with J. But my great-grandmother Therese McGinnis Austin was born in Spring, she married my great-grandfather John Ralph Austin in Spring, and he died in Spring.

Learning to Drive

In response to the latest edition of the Carnival of Genealogy, Miriam at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has asked bloggers to look back at one of her older journaling prompts: Learning to Drive.

This post for me, a non-driver, should either be real short or real funny - perhaps both.

How old were you when you learned to drive? What year was this? I never learned to drive but I did take driver's education in high school. In New York, you were allowed to get a driver's permit at age 16 which would have been 1880. I took my test using a covered wagon. No - wait it was 1980. I took my test using the family's Ford Maverick.

How did you learn? Was in it driver's ed (school or private) or with family or friends? Who taught you? If you took a class, what do you remember about the teacher, your classmates, and the course? Do you remember how much it cost? Did you use simulators? I took driver's ed in high school and it was always taught by either one of the phys ed teachers or the creepy wood shop teacher. We used a car that had a second set of brakes for the teacher. When it was my turn to drive, the rest of the students, as well as the teacher, were nervous - rosary beads came out, people made the sign of the cross, some even held on to the Hail Mary bar.

What kind of car or cars did you use in your training, either in class or with your family or friends? Do you remember the year, make and model? Stick shift or automatic? I believe the car used in driver's ed was donated by one of the local dealerships and was a Dodge - I can't remember the model but I know it was mid-range in size. I used my mother's tan Ford Maverick on each of the three times I attempted to pass the driver's test.

Where did you practice? Was there a certain road or a certain place that everyone in your community would go to learn to drive? It was common to use the high school parking lot on a weekend night to practice driving. Also, since I lived in a community with steep hills, you had to do some hill driving.

What were the requirements at that time to earn a license? How old did you have to be to get a permit and to get a license? How much did it cost? In New York state you had to be at least 16 to get a permit and take a written test. If you passed, you were allowed to drive with a licensed driver in the passenger seat and only during the day, and only for a certain number of hours. You could not drive out of state.

Tell about your experience getting your license: the written exam and the driving test. Did you past the first time? Do you remember how well you did? Were there skills you struggled with or had to re-do? How old were you when you got your license? For the full driver's license you took another written test, an eye test, and then the driving portion with a DMV staff member. I never passed each of the three times I tried. The first time, the DMV person was a confirmed sadist - he had me parallel park while in a right turn lane on a steep hill. The last time I almost backed over a small child while trying to perform a "K turn" or "three point turn." Perhaps I should have tried the "$20 in the passenger visor trick" they use here in Chicago. When you take your test, you place $20 either in the glove compartment or in the visor for the DMV person to "accidentally" find.

To the relief of insurance companies and small children everywhere, I never got my license.

What was your worst driver's license photo? What was your best? I have suffered the indignity of getting a state-issued ID card which looks just as appealing as a driver's license. I swear they have a special filter and special lighting to get you to look like you've been on a six-week bender.

Did you have your own car, or did you drive a family member's? What was the year, make and model? Did you love it, or were you embarrassed by it? What was your dream car (or truck)? Well I never really had a car, well not my own. My ex and I both owned a beautiful BMW 350 - it was the first model year, I believe 1977 and here is how we got it: through a friend, we found an older gentleman who lived up at Lake Tahoe and had this BMW that he used only in San Francisco. In 1995, we bought the car and it had less than 10,000 miles on it - an 18 year old BMW! And it was gorgeous - mint condition, original manuals, records, etc. We would take it to the mechanic and he would literally swoon. Other workers would come over and stand there open mouthed while the hood was opened. When we parked, BMW afficianados would stop us and ask about the car. It was that good.

Write about the different vehicles you've owned over the years: the years, makes and models; the color; what you liked or didn't like about them; how you came to purchase them and how much they cost at that time; why you got rid of them. What were your favorites and the ones you liked least, and why? Besides the BMW above, right now I am part owner and mostly occupant of a metallic celery green four door Honda Civic. Although I'd really like to buy an American car, I hate to say that the Japanese really have been able to provide economical, fuel efficient models that retain their resale value.

How many years have you been driving? Have you ever gotten a parking ticket or a moving violation? Have you been in any collisions or other accidents? What is your driving record like? Write about those experiences. Never really drove. But my "driver" has received (or earned) parking tickets, many of which I was not told about, only to find out when it came time to re-register the car - ugh! Speeding tickets are another matter - our most famous was driving back from Reno and not knowing about a famous speed trap on Rt. 80. Needless to say, Driver had to attend traffic school so that the points would not show up on the driving record.

Photo: Another witness to my attempts at driving - seen before reaching for a drink, the phone or both.

Holy Days

Here is another great blogging/journaling prompt from Miriam over at AnceStories 2!

How did your family traditionally celebrate its holy day? Did you attend worship services? Which kind (Good Friday service, Sunrise service, etc.) did you traditionally attend? Did you family approach this holy day with a lot of reverence, or was it secularized?

Our celebrations of Easter were a mix of reverent and secular. Being raised as a Roman Catholic, there was no service on Good Friday, but we had the opportunity to attend the Stations of the Cross at 3pm that afternoon. There were no bells to be rung between the end of the mass on Holy Thursday until the end of Easter Vigil on Saturday/Sunday, usually about 1am.

At our church, the altar guild ladies would clear the altar of all items after the Holy Thursday service and place a single red rose on it. The church would hold no baptisms or funerals during all of Holy Week.

There was no school on Good Friday and there was very little activity especially between the hours of 12pm and 3pm. We could not listen to music, we could not watch television or even go out and play. Basically we sat and read and stayed quiet.

After 3pm there was no going out for a dance or movies or having people over. We were allowed to watch television but not something like a comedy. Usually we could find some station showing The Ten Commandments or The King of Kings (the 1927 silent version or the updated 1961 version). I remember that in New York on WABC, the 4:30 Movie would show all Holy Week related movies such Barabbas, or The Robe.

What foods did your family eat during the meals celebrating your holy day? What special preparations were involved? As a child, did you help prepare any of the meals or dishes?

We had the ubiquitous ham which I always and still equate more with New Year's Day than Easter. Even today, my mother-in-law insists on ham at every holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter etc.). Our current celebration, which is on April 27th being the Orthodox Easter, will include ham but I will also make my famous Marinated Boneless Leg of Lamb out on the grill. It takes only about 20 minutes per side for a five pound leg and even those who swear they don't like lamb seem to gobble it up.

Did you receive or give any gifts or treats as part of the celebration?

Well as a child we always had a large Easter basket filled with goodies. Since Easter candy will be 1/2 price before our Orthodox Easter, I will stock up and then put together some big Easter baskets for the niece and nephew this year.

Did you wear special or new clothes?

We didn't have new clothes. Being in upstate New York there would often still be snow on the ground, even in mid-April. So you didn't really see too many springtime fashions until May.

What kinds of decorations were created or put out for this holy day?

We decorated Easter eggs and got quite elaborate with them. Some were hollow (we did the trick of poking pins at each end and blowing them out) and then dyed and decorated with glitter or rhinestones or ribbons. We also made some large ones out of crochet string and spray starch using a balloon (you basically begin by blowing up a balloon, preferably into an egg shape if possible, wrapping string around it in every direction, spray with spray starch every few wraps, let it dry, then pop the balloon and remove it).

What year stands out in your mind when you think back through your life of all the Easter/Passover/other spring holy day celebrations you participated in? Why? What was special/unique/different about that particular one?

I seem to have enjoyed Easter more as an adult as I became involved with singing in a church chorus and doing some solo work. I was often asked to sing "Were You There When They Crucified My Lord" which is often done in the negro spiritual tradition. Having a bass/baritone voice it was one that fit my range but I still felt odd singing on Good Friday (see above). My favorite version however is by Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash and the Carter Family. Click here to listen.

Did you participate in any community events surrounding this holy day (egg hunts, etc.)?

No - Easter was mostly a family day. No activities besides going to church and then coming home to a big dinner and visits from family.

Do you have any favorite hymns, religious or secular songs, or other music?

Well besides "Were You There" mentioned above, I especially like O Sacred Head Now Wounded.

How do you celebrate this holy day now in comparison to when you were a child?

I now celebrate Orthodox Easter with my Greek in-laws. My mother-in-law was born in Greece and there is a very large Greek population here in Chicago (it is said to have the most Greeks in one city outside of Athens). We have a big meal and it begins with the red dyed eggs which represent the blood of Christ and rebirth. We all play the game tsougrisma which involves taking your egg, and tapping it on the end of the egg belonging to the person seated next to you. The goal is to crack the end of their egg without cracking yours. It is a process of elimination until there is only one person at the table who has an egg with no cracks.

And besides eating lamb, spanikopita, tyropita, rice pilaf and greek salad we also each tsoureki which is an egg bread with one or more of the red dyed eggs baked with it.

Make 'Em Laugh

The latest blogging/journaling prompt over at AnceStories 2: Stories of Me for My Descendants deals with the concept of laughter and humor. If you haven't checked out this great site maintained by Miriam, please do so!

When you laugh, who do you sound like? Your father, mother, a sibling, or other relative?

I sound more like my mother when I laugh and I was able to see that this past weekend. My mother has always been a gregarious, easy-going person and easily gives in to fun and laughter. Even now when she may not totally understand the conversation or the joke, she will see the rest of her family laugh and join right in.

Who in your family giggles? Belly laughs? Chuckles? Guffaws? Knee slaps or does some other large physical act while laughing?

I tend to be very reserved in appearance, bordering on gruff, but don't believe what you see. I am usually the instigator and can not only laugh myself but get others to join in. My laugh is much like the character Nelson on The Simpsons - a quick "ha ha" but very loud. If I get to really laughing I tend to be a snorter or make hissing sounds.

What other members of the family have similar laughs? Query the older generations and ask them "who in the family has your grandma's (or grandpa's) laugh?"

I don't really know who else had or has a similar laugh - I never really paid that much attention to the concept.

Who has the most unique laugh in your family, and why?

It would have to be me - see above!

What kinds of things did your family laugh or joke about?

As always we laugh about memories gone by such as "Remember the time grandma had that walking stick during Prohibition and it had a glass flask inside for her supply of hootch?" We did the same this weekend - reminiscing about my mother growing up with her brothers and sisters. I heard stories this weekend of one sister and brother trying to wake another sister up by starting a campfire under her bed. And then how one sister was always evading the truant officer!

What best describes the style of humor in your family (dry, wet, ironic, silly)?

In my currently family right now, we tend towards the very dry humor, puns, and sarcasm. Example: upon seeing the latest picture of a celebrity such as Amy Winehouse, one of us will say, "Well, she just needs to find a hairdresser that likes her." In that same vein I always appreciated something similar among my Southern friends but it was so much more gentle than my New York approach. Example: in college we were discussing the story of Oedipus Rex, an acquaintance actually said "Bless poor ol' Oedipus's heart. Marries his mama, pokes his eyes out. Just bless him!"

Did you ever have tickle fights?

We didn't and for a more serious reason (not to seem like Debbie Downer): since there have been past instances of child abuse and inappropriate behavior among some people, so along with the standard discussions to young children about "touching," we really don't permit tickle fights. But we have had those silly fights with padded suits and foam rubber swords - lots of fun!

Who were the practical jokers in the family?

Moi, of course. I was the brainy but incorrigible child who did it all - from the "bag of dog poop on fire" trick to making prank calls (to the grocery store . . ."Do you have pigs' feet? Well wear shoes and no one will notice") to disfiguring dolls. But it does run in the family - my one aunt is infamous for sneaking an unwrapped Baby Ruth bar into the public swimming pool and then feigning disgust, quite loudly, at one of her sisters. Good times.

What private jokes did you have as a family? What key phrases were giggle starters?

Most of them are movie quotes and movie lines. Understand that some of us can sit down and carry out the dialog of some movies in their entirety. Many are from Steel Magnolias (About the recipe Cupa Cupa - Truvy: It's a cup of flour, a cup of sugar, a cup of fruit cocktail with juice, and you mix and bake at 360 till gold-n-bubbly. Clairee: Sounds awful rich! Truvy: I know, that's why I serve it over ice cream to cut the sweetness.)

What books, magazine, or cartoon strips were favorite humorous reads in your family?

I am still partial to my own slant on comedy - as a child, and again resident instigator, I would make up my own words to television themes or other songs, often resulting in an admonition from Mom but then she'd run to the other room and stifle a laugh.

I do the same thing now - I rewrite the captions for cartoons like Family Circus and Garfield, or when I am on an airplane, I watch the movie but don't use a headset so I can make up my own storyline.

I also always LOVED the game Mad-Libs!

What comedy television shows or movies were favorites in your family?

We loved the Carol Burnett show - she was a goddess in our household. Some of my other faves growing up:

Maude ("And then there's Maude!")
All In The Family

and now:

Mama's Family
Frasier
The Simpsons
Family Guy

Movies are toooo numerous to count - see my profile for a full list.

Do you ever play games that get your family giggling up a storm? (Our family plays Balderdash with my brother-in-law's family every year while camping at the lake for a week...it's our favorite group activity, mainly because we get so darn silly while playing it!)

Usually Password - especially since half of us act illiterate after a few drinks at a big family gathering. I'll never forget when my one staid aunt had one Pink Lady too many - she thought the card said "massage" instead of "message" so then the words that came out of her mouth describing said word!

Do you have digital recordings, videotapes, audio tapes, or home movies with family members talking or laughing in them?

I was lucky enough to get an entire box of 50+ video tapes when I cleaned out my mother's house. Some of them are the 8mm cam corder type so I'll need to get an adapter. I want to review them all before I have Costco or some other store convert them to DVDs. But I know they are of family gatherings and that means laughter, jokes and hijinks!

Photo: an example of the kind of humor that makes me laugh!

Honoring Our Leaders

For this week's family history blogging/journaling prompt over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants, Miriam has chosen the topic of Honoring Our Leaders.

As a child, do you remember celebrating either Lincoln or Washington's birthdays? How did you celebrate them? What do you remember learning about either of these men?

I am old enough to remember there being separate holidays, one for Washington and one for Lincoln. However, Washington's Birthday was always the 3rd Monday in February, not the actual day. In New York we did have February 12th off for Lincoln's Birthday, which here in Illinois, is still a statewide holiday.

Did you get a day off of school, have an assembly, or was there a play performed?

We were off from school. In fact, between the standard Federal holidays, the Christian holidays, and the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hoshanah, Yom Kippur and the first two days of Passover, then throw in a few snow days, our school year ran until the last week of June!

Do you ever remember reading any books or watching any movies about these two leaders?

As a kid we really didn't have access to "movies" the way we do today as in video tapes or DVDs. We had the dreaded "filmstrip" in school which I later found out was how our teacher Ms. Harris dealt with a hangover. LOL.

In your opinion, who was the greatest leader of our country, and why?

This is a very difficult question but in this election year it is so important and relevant. I believe that Americans suffer from trying to see their leaders as "saints" and do the same when they attempt to elect someone for office. Our media has coaxed us to see basic human frailties in officials as "sins" and something which requires discouraging someone from running for office. Take the case of Muskie and his tears or Collin Powell and his wife's history of mental illness. I don't mean outright crimes or misdeeds that truly make someone unfit for office. But for once I'd just like someone who isn't plucked and tweezed both physically and behaviorally.

History has also glamorized our past leaders to the point of disregarding their missteps. Washington and Jefferson, among others, were slave owners. Grant drank. Kennedy philandered. But we choose to put them up on a pedestal and only tout their achievements to the point of glorification.

That's why I like Harry Truman - you knew where you stood with him. He really was just the haberdasher down the street. But one who had to make tough decisions such as using the A-bomb in August of 1945. They really don't make 'em like Harry anymore and I wonder if we'll ever see another leader in this country who could unite a country after a war and put it on the road to prosperity.

In your current career, do you get Presidents Day off? Why or why not?

I do get Presidents Day off as well as Martin Luther King Day. I think the reason I do is this: I am lucky enough to work for a progressive firm that even gives a 6-week sabbatical to all employees after the first 10 years of service, and then every 5 years after that. Our employees are encouraged to volunteer at the local level and can arrange flexible schedules to do so or even receive paid time off. And fathers can arrange for paternity leave in order to bond with a new child.

In many communities, Presidents Day weekend is well-known for sales and special deals. How do you feel about this? Do you like to go shopping on this weekend? Or do you feel this emphasis on commercialism is disrespectful?

I think due to the over-commercialization of life and events in general in this country, you'd think we could avoid a Presidents Day sale. We've come up with Sweetest Day (?), Secretary's Day (sorry, I am not being PC: Administrative Assistant Day or Support Staff Day) and even Bosses Day. I await a Sleazy Landlord Day and a corresponding card from Hallmark.

Once the 3rd Monday in January was made a Federal holiday in honor of Dr. King, I thought for certain there would never be a commercialization of this day with "sales" and special deals. But again, I'm proven wrong.

Presidents Day is also a day when veterans and Purple Heart recipients are honored. Are or were there any Purple Heart recipients in your family or ancestry? Have you written about what they did to earn this great award?

My cousin, Sgt. Kenney Von Ronn, did receive the Purple Heart post-humously after his death in Iraq in January 2005. I have written about him here and intend to remember him and other family veterans killed in battle with several posts around Memorial Day this year.

St. Valentine's Day

Here I am again, conjuring memories of love found and love lost using Miriam's family history blogging/journaling prompt over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants. Appropriate for the upcoming holiday, she asks us about St. Valentine's Day.

What is the first Valentine's Day that you remember? How old were you or what grade were you in?

I really don't remember much about Valentine's Day in school. From what I do remember I didn't like: it was too much of a "popularity contest" what with the box to drop valentine cards up front. Perhaps, and I hope, it is different. I would think schools would use the opportunity to stress and teach love as a concept: the love of neighbor, the love of colleague, the love of co-student and confonting the problem of bullying. I think too much time is spent these days equating love with sex.

Did you have celebrations at school? What were they like? Were there games and refreshments?

I went to Catholic grade school for the first three years, so we learned more about St. Valentine. I really don't remember any celebrations except perhaps a mid-winter dance in high school on a Friday evening.

Did you make some sort of individualized Valentine "mailboxes" to hold the greetings you received? Or did the classroom have one big box? How were they (or it) created and decorated?

The classroom had one large box which the teacher usually decorated.

Did you buy or make Valentine cards? Did you include goodies such as lollipops, candy message hearts, or Hershey kisses?

Mom usually bought the box set of little cards that you'd put in envelopes and then place in the big box.

Do you remember the first boy or girl you had a crush on in school? Did you have the nerve to send him or her a Valentine? If so, what was their reaction/response?

Sort of. In Catholic school I was in the first grade and I had a crush on a very pretty Italian girl. Of course I was a wee boy of six at the time.

Did your crush send you a Valentine?

I don't remember - I actually think that the nuns frowned upon giving Valentines. They frowned upon most things.

How did you feel about Valentine's Day as a child? Was it fun and exciting, or disappointing and sad? Or were you simply bored with it all?

Not disappointed as much as bored and not realizing the big deal. As a teenager I was struggling with my sexual identity so it was difficult to address that let alone sending a Valentine.

As you got older, did you attend any Valentine's Day dances? Tell about your experiences!

Well during my ballroom dancing days, my dance partner Nancy and I would usually go to a Saturday night dance at the Avalon Ballroom in San Francisco. A great setup: no alcohol, no smoking, and pleasant, civil people who respected the ground rules. We both learned quite a bit from the older, more experienced dancers. And I, for some reason, had a flock of older women always asking me for dances. Perhaps it was my Billy Idol/peroxide hair.

What is the nicest card or gift you have ever received for Valentine's Day? Who sent it to you?

I always receive great cards from my partner. I can't say that any one is better than the other - but I've saved them all, as well as birthday and anniversary cards.

How do you celebrate Valentine's Day now?

I usually make a batch of gingerbread cookies - large hearts decorated with pink frosting. Then I have a sheet of "love quotes" that I print out. I cut them into strips with scrapbooking scissors and place them in the large cellophane corsage bags with the cookies. I call them Love Fortunes.

Do you remember hearing how your parents or grandparents celebrated Valentine's Day?

Not really - my family was never very open with affection including husband to wife, wife to husband, etc. If I ever saw my parents or great-grandparents hold hands it was something to stop and note. In a way that's kind of sad. I would rather note when they didn't hold hands or kiss each other.

Crafts and Hobbies

As you can see in my last post I am not like you other blogging addicts - I barely even break the 50% mark. But there should be a quiz to tell if you are addicted to Miriam's family history blogging/journaling prompts over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants. How addicted am I? Let's put it this way - Miriam now has her own tag/label on my blog called "AnceStories 2 - Journaling Prompts."

This week, she continues with a cold weather theme, and she asks us to write about some of the activities that used to keep us busy indoors on cold and snowy days in Week Thirty: Crafts and Hobbies.

What kinds of hobbies or crafts have you enjoyed over the years? Are they activities that you've created (visual art, needlework, metalwork, etc.) or items you've collected (model railroads, dolls, spoons, postage stamps, etc.)?

As a child I always had a creative bent - my mother knew not only could I create beautiful works of art but I was also creative when it came to mischief and mayhem. The problem, if you can call it that, was being a precocious kid with an overactive imagination. Like the time I thought that, while playing Army with my brother and other male cousins, that Mom's supply of Kotex would make neat bandages to be applied to our heads on other wounded parts. Well she didn't think it was so neat as we ran around the neighborhood and the phone calls from concerned mothers starting pouring in.

So I started out with stamp collecting which was fun, could entertain me on a cold winter day, and educational since I learned about many countries and the people, places and things depicted on the stamps. But the hobby could easily get expensive what with albums and purchasing stamps.

So I progressed to artistic expression including painting and drawing. It is something I still enjoy to this day but I just don't get enough time for. But I do keep a "creativity journal" where I can jot down ideas when the muse strikes and then hopefully I can revive that same "spark" at a later date.

How did you become interested in them? Were you taught them by a parent, grandparent, or other relative? Did you take a class, or teach yourself? Did you inherit a collection that you decided to build upon?

I didn't inherit any collection but I remember my great-grandparents saving stamps for me and encouraging me. I don't know where the painting or drawing came from to be honest. There was a minor Hudson River School artist named Jervis McEntee who may possibly be related to me since he also grew up in the same part of Ulster County, New York where my MacEntee relatives did. As for mischief and mayhem - there is actually a long line of tricksters in my family.

Do you have a hobby or craft room where you can work or display your collection or store your supplies? If not, what would your dream hobby or craft room look like?

I don't think I want to get to a point where I need a "craft room." It seems a bit decadent - like people who have a gift wrapping room. I kid you not - I know one of those people. To me, it not only means a hobby gone amok, but the need for just another room.

Currently, my obsession has been nature crafts. This past Christmas, as some of you may know, I created over 300 hand-made ornaments for my tree this year. I knew that in a small 2 bed/2 bath condo and only 3 closets (I kid you not) that I would need to think about the storage angle. Add to it the over 300 glass ball ornaments. And 1500 lights.



So, before the end of 2007 we did a total closet/possession purge and donated many items to our local AIDS agency thrift store which opened up some space. I have everything in those copier paper boxes but ideally I'd like to get some large plastic bins to place items in, especially to keep the creepy crawlies out!

What is it that your hobby or craft does for you? For instance, I know someone who took up crocheting to keep her hands busy while she was quitting smoking. Another relative knits items to donate to others as a way to give to the community. As for myself, I like the relaxing feeling of a hook and yarn between my fingers.

What it does most for me is it challenges my creativity. As a parent with early-onset Alzheimer's Disease that appears to be genetic in my family, I have this constant fear that if I don't challenge my brain in a variety of ways that I will fall victim as well.

So, I sketch out different ideas, create an "idea sheet," look for materials that are easy to purchase or gather out in the wild, and then usually make a prototype ornament. Not everything works but that's part of the fun and helps you determine what you feel "art" is.

Have you ever created your own patterns? Have you ever done a pattern enough that you've memorized it and create the object without reading the instructions? What one item have you made many times?

I had several female relatives who were quite reknowned with a needle and thread. They could walk past a shop window, look at a suit or dress, and then create a pattern from memory. I was always amazed especially since what they created were not your basic cotton dress with lace collar to use for going to church on Sunday. Their creations were fully lined wool suits, with unique, sometimes handmade buttons. Now I know where my obssession with detail comes from on my Christmas ornaments.

I've never worked much with a needle and thread (Mom did insist that I learn how to sew on a button and quickly fix a hem, even if it involved tape!) but I've always been fascinated with cross-stitch. I guess if I weren't so embarassed to be a male who was interested in needlecrafts I would just pick up cross-stitch - the intricacy and the math part interests me the most.

Have you ever shown or displayed your hobby or craft at a collector's show or fair? Have you ever marketed your hobby or crafts either in a physical store, crafters' fair or online?

This is part of my dilemma: I would love to start a line of nature-inspired holiday ornaments but the logistics and economics are just not right. We've become so "price pressured" in this country that many people shy away from buying something if it isn't made in India or China for the lowest price. And I don't have the desire to hire a staff, run a production line etc. Perhaps if I could design them for a company like Christopher Radko or Department 54 that would suit me just fine.

Where do you purchase your supplies or items for your collection?

The Internet, of course. It has become a running joke with my friends and family that I can find and will buy practically anything on the Web. My new obsession is buying my dry-goods groceries from Amazon. I usually shop at San Francisco Herb Company which I used to frequent in person when I lived in SF. And not just for craft supplies - their spices are phenomenal and cheap and good quality. A list of my suppliers is on my other blog A Catskill Christmas.

Name your one--or several--favorite things you've created or collected? Why are they a favorite?

Probably my Cabinet Photo Ornaments. It is a way of combining my passion for family history with art. I'm hoping to branch out this year and come up with different ideas and ways to use these photos.



What hobbies or crafts do you remember your parents, grandparents, or other relatives doing? Or what have you learned, if you've researched your family history, about the types of hobbies and crafts your ancestors did?

My mother loved to crochet - that was where it was at in the late 1960s and early 1970s. She'd host a "party" once a month where a group of women, usually co-workers, would bring their projects and either crochet or knit away, all the while telling off-color jokes and laughing with the raspy, kittenish purr one could only get from smoking three packs of Lucky Strikes a day. My mother used to call them her "stitch and bitch" parties since most of the time these women complained about their husbands or not having a husband.

Games and Puzzles

Well, it's official. I am addicted to Miriam's family history blogging/journaling prompts over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants. This week, what with the cold weather (our official low yesterday as -4 degrees Farenheit), she asks us to write about the games and puzzles we remember from our past in Week Twenty-Eight: Games and Puzzles.

Did you have a regular game night or family night?

We did not have a "regular" night per se. But if we had people over for games it was usually on a Saturday night. Of course, during the holidays we always had people over and always had some game going.

What games (board, card, dice, or acting out) did your family enjoy? Was there a favorite you played time after time?

Trivial Pursuit was the most popular when it came out in the late 1980s. As was Yahtzee. Monopoly was relegated more to the kids and usually ended with someone discontent and flipping the game board with all its cards and pieces up in the air and walking off in a huff. Good times.

Did your family have a family or game room? What was it like? What kind of game equipment did it have (foosball, pool table, etc.)?
No room for a game room in a 2-bedroom 1,000 sq. ft. home. If the adults were involved, games were played on the dining room table. If not, the kids played on the living room floor.

Do you have any funny stories or a particular memory (good or bad) that stands out of game-playing time?

Well besides the night of my birth with its poker game, my fondest memory is of the Saturday night pinochle games my mother would host. The "usual suspects" as she called them were friends of the family, a mother-daughter team, who I thought were absolutely hilarious. The older women we called "Aunt Iva" even though she wasn't our aunt.

Aunt Iva played what my mother called "cut-throat" pinochle - this was where she could have all her tricks together and dump them out all at once. And she always did this with a long Virginia Slims bobbing up and down in her lips as she talked. If we were at her house, she had her parrot on her shoulder at the same time!

What's the first game you remember playing?

Probably Monopoly - that really is my earliest memory. Maybe Go Fish. Of course, the ubiquitous 52 Pickup was always fun!

Were there any games you disliked? Why?

I didn't care for canasta or pinochle or bridge. The "team" games never interested me - I preferred to fly solo.

Were there any games that were not allowed to be played? Why?

Just the game of "doctor." 'Nuf said.

Did your parents have a regular night when they would play games or cards with friends or extended family?

Yes - Saturday nights.

Did you ever have game nights with groups, clubs, or neighbors on a regular basis?

Right now the current game we play with our close friends about once a month is Farkle. It is a game with six dice and involves rolling only 1s and 5s which represent 100 points and 50 points respectively. There are also combos (3 of a kind, 4 of a kind, etc.) which score much higher. The fun part is the ability to stop, take your points and pass the dice that did not roll as 1s or 5s to the next person - and if they keep rolling 1s and 5s they can keep building on your points. Usually I make a great homemade meal (it was pasta and bolognese sauce with tiramisu for dessert this past Saturday night), and there is much wine involved.

Was game playing associated with certain annual events, like holidays, birthdays, or vacation times?

Mostly holidays and some beach vacations when we would rent a house in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware for a week.

What kinds of snacks and beverages were enjoyed during game playing?

I loved, and still love, bridge mix. My mother made the Chex Mix before you could conveniently buy it pre-made. Nuts. And cocktails like Tequila Sunrise and Harvey Wallbanger. The children did not partake of the cocktails.

Were there prizes awarded to game winners or even to losers? What kinds? Did everyone chip in towards purchasing the prizes?

No prizes. Just the satisfaction of knowing that you kicked someone's butt and were quite vociferous about it. That then led to an anticipated grudge match the following week.

Did your family or you ever do jigsaw puzzles? What's the largest--in terms of number of puzzle pieces--jigsaw puzzle you've completed?

We never did jigsaw puzzles but our neighbors Grace and Ralph always had one set up on a large board in the living room. Especially in the winter, if you went for a visit, you could always just fiddle with the pieces. I have become addicted to the Jigsaw Detective game on Pogo. It isn't a free but with my subscription I can solve very complex jigsaw puzzles. Very neat.

What did you do with completed puzzles? Did you display them or simply put them away?

Never had them in the house. Usually our neighbors would just put it back in the box to be completed some other year. Or they would swap puzzles with friends which I thought was a good idea.

What about puzzles such as crosswords, cryptograms, or others found in puzzle books? Are you a Sudoku fiend?

I have always been a crossword puzzle fanatic. In high school, I was able to get the New York Times delivered to my homeroom for a very low price at a student rate. So we had about five of us who would start the puzzle in morning homeroom, in pen of course, and see who could complete it by the afternoon homeroom.

I still do them as well as other puzzzles. This is part of my process of keeping my mind sharp given my families tendency to have Alzheimer's Disease at an early age.

Did you ever go to an arcade and play pinball machines or other arcade-style games? Or did you ever shoot pool?

Arcades were for ne'er-do-wells and ruffians according to my mother. Only if someone had a machine in their basement did we play. Still, it was seen as a "vice machine."

Do you remember seeing your first video game, either in an arcade or on a television (Pong, Atari or early Nintendo games)?

My brother and I received Pong from Santa one year and we practically wet our pants! If you've seen that television commercial with the little boy going crazy over what Santa brought him - that was me.

What kinds of video games did you like to play, if any? Do you play any now (gaming station or handheld)?

Video gaming is the work of the devil if you ask me. I just think it compounds our "Couch Potato Nation" problem. But I do hold out hope for the Wii - from what I understand it is very popular with senior citizens due to its physical component. I hear that even Queen Elizabeth II owns a Wii.

What was your first computer game? Do you ever play computer games now, either on your computer or online?

I used to play games like Wolfenstein, Doom, Quake etc. but I realized I was just squandering my time. It was great for hand-eye coordination but it did nothing for my mind. So I then picked up many of the fun games at Pogo.

What about the present? Does your family or do you personally play games or do puzzles? Do you participate in game nights with others, such as poker or Bunco?

We have our monthly Farkle night in Chicago. One concept found around Chicago is the idea of board games at a bar. Guthrie's Tavern near Wrigley Field is the most prominent and it is a hot spot for Euchre.

Here are some other game ideas to write about: lawn games (horseshoes, croquet, badminton); kid games (marbles, jacks); betting, casino games, and bingo; party games (pinata, pin the tail on the donkey), etc.

I will confess that I've been known to wager on a card game or two while in the great state of Nevada. Now you all know part of my fascination with Reno! I usually play Blackjack and Let It Ride. Blackjack is a game of partial skill and I usually do quite well. I will also put a coin or two into a slot machine. I once won $8,000 on a machine just as I was leaving to go to the airport. Whoo hoo!

What do you know about your parents', grandparents', or perhaps even great-grandparents' game playing? Do you remember them saying anything about games they played when they were young?

I don't remember my grand-parents or great-grandparents playing games at all. Just my parents.

Do you have any photos of either your present or your childhood families playing games? What about ancestral photos?

No - I really should break out the digital camera next month during a Farkle session. Especially after the wine has been flowing.

Photo: "Dogs Do Play Poker" by Julie & Timo on Flickr.

Civil Rights and Diversity: Serving Witness, Giving Voice

Miriam over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has an interesting journal prompt this week. Entitled Civil Rights and Diversity, she asks her readers to write about the various challenges that families faced in terms of racial, religious or other forms of discrimination. And even if your family was not a target of such practices, if you remember other families, friends or neighbors who were told that they lived outside the margins of the rest of society.

Before I start I want to thank Miriam for this post and challenge. Very often as we pursue our own genealogy or family history research, we can do so with a set of "blinders" on and not realize what others may have experienced in our ancestors' communities. I've often wondered if my ancestors owned slaves or were abolitionists, if any of my female ancestors were suffragettes or women's libbers (that's a term I haven't heard or used for a while!), if any of my relatives practiced forms of discrimination or helped to break down barriers put up against others. I try to remind myself, from time to time, to step outside of "my family" and look around at what was going on at that time, then step back in and put my family in perspective.

What was the racial, ethnic, or religious situation in the community where you grew up? Was your family part of a racial, ethnic, or religious majority or minority? Were there differences in your community or family such as developmental disabilities, mental illness, or social class differences? Were there bi-racial or mixed-faith families?

I grew up in Liberty, Sullivan County, New York which is part of the Borscht Belt of Jewish resorts made famous during the 1940s and 1950s. By the time I grew up, the community had a very sizeable Jewish presence with a bakery and deli that closed on the High Holy Days. Our school also had off for Yom Kippur and Passover. Many of my friends in school were Jews and through them I became very familiar with religious practices and customs especially the Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah.

The concept of mixed-faith families was a hot button issue in the late 1960s as was mixed-raced families. Keep in mind that inter-racial marriage was still illegal in some states up until 1967. I knew several mixed-faith families and because of certain prejudices it often meant that there would be turmoil especially around holidays.

How did this affect you and your family? Did your family experience discrimination or prejudice, or were family members prejudiced against others? Have you ever feared for your life because of prejudice?

Growing up, my mother was one of the only divorced women in our town. This was at the time when the Roman Catholic Church no longer considered divorce a reason for excommunication from the church. Having attended parochial school for the first three grades, I always felt "set apart" when it came to interacting with other students. When questioned about my father and why he didn't live with us, I often declined to answer. Even I myself did not really understand it at that time in my live.

I have found quite a bit of prejudice, especially against Jews and Blacks in my family. My mother was a big advocate of taking me and my brother aside after a visit to relatives where someone made bigotted comments. She explained that those views were not shared by her or by open-minded people. She also made it clear that we were not to make those comments either. I think it is only actions like these that help break the chain of prejudice in a family.

In my research of letters and diaries from the 1940s through the 1950s, it is disturbing to see my relatives, some still living, use derogatory terms to describe others. It also puts me in a difficult position of deciding whether or not to include such terms when transcribing documents. As a family historian, as much as it may cause commotion and strife, I believe I need to be true to the document. And I shouldn't try to "explain away" why that person used such a term. I can, however, put it in context of the times, much as we do slavery in this country. It doesn't mean it was right, but it gives witness to the fact that it did happen, and that it had and still has consequences.

What were you taught about people who were different from you? Do you still believe this? Why or why not? If not, what made you change your mind?

Sometimes I still laugh at one piece of bigotry that a family member tried to pass on to me: that Jews had horns on their head. I never believed it, nor did I embarass myself by asking school mates to show me their horns. It was only in college that I found out how this bit of "urban legend" came about: as I studied Art History, I noticed a statue of Moses by Michelangelo. Moses is stunningly executed but also with horns on his head. Through my research I found out that Michelangelo relied on a translation of the Bible that mis-interpreted the Hebrew term karan (meaning "radiate light") to mean "grew horns" (similar to the Latin "cornutam").

Thankfully I am a true skeptic and live up to my first name. If I read or hear something which just doesn't fit for me, I am off to research it and try to get as many facts and differing points of view as necessary. My mother taught me to do this and to not accept at face value what people say.

Were there households in your neighborhood or community where a couple was co-habitating rather than being legally married? Were there gays and lesbians in your community? Or did you grow up in such a diverse household? What was your family's or the community's reaction to this?

Being gay I have a somewhat advantaged perspective on the LGBT issue. I am also the only self-identified (I dislike the term "out") homosexual in my family of over 100 living relatives. My family overall has been very accepting (I agree with Miriam on the use of the word "tolerant") and to be honest it is a non-issue. My partner (I'll call him Fang) and I travel home and visit relatives and are invited to gatherings and celebrations just as any couple would be. Since I made the decision in 1983 to be open and honest with my family about my sexuality, I am amazed at not only how far my family has progressed, but how the rest of society has as well.

But it wasn't always easy. While my family and work environments were always free from any discrimination or bigotry, there were times when school and even living with neighbors was difficult. Many don't know that for a short time in my life, I was a seminary student, and an openly-gay one at that. I was involved with a denomination that permitted LGBT people to practice ministry and thought, at that time, it was a career to pursue. I had my challenges but the seminary supported me 100 percent. And more recently, Fang and I were in a difficult situation with a neighbor involving some hateful behavior directed towards us. We eventually had to move out of our home but thankfully due to civil rights protections in Illinois, we were able to get a monetary settlement for what we endured for two years.

Do you remember the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s or the AIM movement of the 1970s? What about the Equal Rights Amendment or the AIDS epidemic? What were your feelings or thoughts on these matters? Did they affect you directly, and how?

I don't remember the Civil Rights Movement as much as I do the American Indian Movement or the push for the ERA amendment. And the AIDS pandemic was just beginning when I came out in 1983 and in the ensuing years it would affect me directly. I lost so many friends and acquaintances that I stopped writing names in ink in my address book. I couldn't stand to see so many people crossed-out especially when they were less than 40 years in age.

What do you remember about meeting someone for the first time who was different from you in some way? What preconceived ideas were dismantled as you got to know this person as an individual, rather than as a symbol of your differences?

While I didn't have any pre-conceived notions as to others who were different, I relished the opportunity to meet people of different races and faiths. Going to college at age 17 was an eye-opener for me, especially since it was in a culturally diverse city - Washington, DC. We all think of it as the capital of the United States but once you live there, you realize how many different cultures and faiths inhabit that area. I worked in jobs with many Ethopian, Somalian, and Filipino people - I enjoyed celebrating various holidays and sharing different foods.

If you are a person considered "different" by the mainstream, do you have a successful experience to share where you were able to change someone else's preconceived ideas about your diverse situation? How did that occur?

Being a "different" person (and I don't mind that term), I think being able to convince my family that I was still the same old Thomas has been my biggest success. I am able to show them that not everyone defines success as having a wife and children and that the word "family" represents different concepts to different people. I also believe that living my live in an honest fashion is the best testament to success - it helps to break down people's prejudiced views as to what a gay person is or how they act.

Are there any oral histories in your family about being able to vote or own land or other civil rights for the first time? What about stories were rights were denied? Are there events in your family history where ancestors or relatives triumphed over social injustice? Were any of your ancestors social reformers? Are you?

So far, my research has not turned up many social reformers or "agitators" as I like to call them. And then there is me. During the 1990s I was very involved with several movements including increased funding for AIDS research. I also was part of a group that stood vigil at the funeral of Randy Shilts (author of And The Band Played On) against actions threatened by the Rev. Fred Phelps and other members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas.

Old Man Winter

It is funny that I should be writing this post on the warmest January 6th ever in Chicago. The mercury hit 60 degrees today and broke a 100 year record. Understand that here on the left bank of Lake Michigan this is a big deal. After a very cold winter, people are known to sit out in shorts when the temperature is a mere 50 degrees in April.

Miriam over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants has gotten back into the groove of posting some great prompts for family history blogging, the latest being Week Twenty-Six: Winter.

Some great questions abound so here goes:

What has been your attitude toward winter? Is it "the weather outside is frightful" or "let it snow, let it snow, let it snow"?

This has changed and evolved as I have gotten older and as my living/work circumstances have changed. Growing up in the Catskill region of upstate New York we always got socked with snow, sometimes as early as Halloween and as late as Memorial Day. Nowhere near the amount as Buffalo or up in Lewis County where my ancestors were from. Then there were those 20 years in California and I became "reconditioned." Winter there meant heavy monsoon-like rains and if you wanted snow, just drive 3 hours up to Tahoe, take a quick look and drive back home.

Now that I am in Chicago and I work at home, I really don't mind the winter. It has been cold, as low as -36 degrees with wind chill but there is nowhere near as much snow as I grew up with since we are on the left side of Lake Michigan. There is a saying about winter here in Chicago: Many are cold, but few are frozen.

What are or were your favorite outdoor winter activities? Some ideas to jog your memory include sledding, skiing, skating, snowshoeing, snowball fights, or making snowmen. Where did you go to do these activities? Did you ever have an accident participating in any of the more active sports?

My favorite activity was actually cross-country skiing. We used to do this up on Walnut Mountain in Liberty, New York. My least favorite activity: shoveling snow. Living on the side of a mountain with constant winds meant snow drifts and having to shovel almost every day.

What are or were your favorite indoor winter activities? Did you play board games or cards, listen to the radio or watch TV, do puzzles or needlework, read books and magazines, or write letters, journals, or stories?

I was a big reader as a kid and a reader of history at that. I couldn't stand television or music - I just wanted to be alone with my books.

What do you remember about winter clothing in your childhood? Do you have any stories to tell about long johns, snow suits or snow pants, a favorite or unfavorite pair of boots? Did you wear a pair of mittens with a string connecting them around your neck?

What I remember most are snow pants and boots. We had boots that were hard to get into so my mother had us wear plastic bags around our socks before we put them in the boots. I also remember what a pain it was to put on the winter clothes at school for recess. God bless those teachers - it took 15 minutes to get everyone dressed for a 30 minute recess.

Did anyone ever make you hats, scarves, mittens or sweaters to wear? Were they knitted or crocheted?

My mother crocheted more than knitted and she could make the simple items like scarves but not mittens. Then there was that scary Hippie-style green neon vest she made for me that would put Sonny Bono to shame.

What were your favorite winter foods or drinks? Some ideas include soups, stews, casseroles, hot chocolate, tea, or hot buttered rum.

Hot buttered rum. Mom would serve it to me and all the neighborhood kids all the time. She called it "Mother's Little Helper."

How about the cold? Did you ever get frostbite? Did you ever take a dare and stick your tongue on something metal? Was your bedroom cold at night in the winter? How did you stay warm at night...with an electric blanket, a bedwarming pan, or hot potatoes at the foot of your bed under the covers?

I never got frostbite but I do remember two driving trips where we got stranded and had to stay in the car for a few hours waiting for the storm to pass or the snow plows to show up. Luckily we had all the winter supplies we needed.

My one indulgence now: a heated mattress pad with dual controls. When you're hot, you're hot, when you're not, you're not.

What big storms or hard winters do you have memories or stories of? (Those who live in Spokane may have their stories of Ice Storm '96.)

I remember the Great Blizzard of 1977 which hit upstate New York especially Buffalo. In the Catskills we received lots of snow but not as much as Buffalo.

If you live(d) in areas that get little to no snow during the winter, what are or were your winters like? Windy and rainy? Warm or hot? Did you wish for snow, or were you glad you didn't get any? If it did occasionally snow, did the bad weather shut down your community? Do you remember the first time you saw snow? What did you think of it?

In San Francisco I lived off of Ocean Beach so the rain storms that hit would seem much stronger to me than to friends who lived in other neighborhoods. I remember one January that had 29 days of rain out of 31 days. I felt like I would have webbed feet by the end of the month.

Do you remember stories from your parents, grandparents, or other family members or old timers of big storms or hard winters of the past?

My family always talked about the Great Blizzard of 1966 that took place at the end of January. Close to four feet of snow fell and, as my mother said, there were lots of babies born in September/October of 1966.

Do you have any photos of your ancestors outdoors in the winter, or of their homes or automobiles covered with snow? What about photos of ancestral horses and sleighs?

I do not have any photos among those that I have scanned, but I have not yet reached the bottom of The Box so who knows - I may find some yet!