That Month of Three

This post was composed for the 1st Edition of Smile For The Camera ~ A Carnival of Images

That Month of Three

In your arms, that month of three,
you held and loved and carried me.
Our blue eyes, our skin both fair,
your gaze told me you'd be right there,
by my side, through good and bad.
And oh what times, what times we had!

Trips away were so much fun,
more so with me, your oldest son.
We saw things that touched our heart
and laughed and laughed at stuff called "art."
We flew, we drove, saw it all
and took it in, both big and small.

When Dad left (men always go . . .),
I promised you, "Not me! No! No!"
You had hoped I'd be right there,
but knew deep down that wasn't fair.
"Go," you said, and with a smile
I went away for quite awhile.

School was far, so far away -
my hopes, my dreams to find one day.
Way out West, each week I'd phone,
"Please be careful," you'd intone.
"When will you come home again?"
"It will be soon, you'll see me then."

The empty nest, you did fill
with work and church and visits 'til
something came, took over you.
You struggled so with what to do.
"What is it?" you asked, "Will it stay?"
"It will," I knew but dared not say.

You knew too, but built a game
of cover, of lies, and of shame.
We cried, we fought, and we tried
to stop the loss, as mem'ry died.
"This road's dark, it's hard to see!"
"I'm right here Mom. Remember me?"

If I could, that month of three,
know all the pain you couldn't see,
I'd hold it close so deep within,
but you'd find out, and smile and grin.
"Let go, please. Give that to me.
Now, what's your name? My name's Jackie."


Copyright 2008 by Thomas MacEntee

Photo: Jacqueline Austin MacEntee holding her three-month old son, Thomas James MacEntee, March 1963, Liberty, New York

The First of May

"Hooray! Hooray!
It's the First of May!
Outdoor romance begins today!"

This is a short poem or "ditty" that I've heard through the years. Nowadays my friends and family all try to see who is the first one to remember and then send out the exhortation via e-mail or by phone.

It is only one month away from "meteorological summer" so get out the porch swing or the hamock, make some lemonade or sweet tea . . .

I'll be posting some of my favorite summer recipes over at my food blog And I Helped including Sweet Cole Slaw, Sour Cole Slaw, Barbecue Baked Beans, etc.

Photo: Porch Swing on Flickr by Mr. Greenjeans.

Some Poems In My Pocket

I don't read as much poetry as I used to, and I thought I had exhausted all my desire for poetry what my silly post about Limericks, Haikus But No Quatrains a few weeks ago. But I like the idea of Lisa's meme about poetry over at A Light That Shines Again so I'll give it go.

One might think that this is just a silly game and that posting poems or discussing them has little or nothing to do with genealogy or family history. However, how many of us, while cleaning out an aging parents house, has happened upon an old, yellowed and tattered newspaper clipping of a poem? One that your mother always kept in her purse or perhaps laminated and used as a bookmark. For generations people have looked to favorite poems or passages of poems as touchstones for reflection in their daily lives.

Among my favorite poets are Rachel Hadas, William Carlos Willams, Pablo Neruda, Emily Dickinson and Federico Garcia Lorca. And here are my favorite poems by some of these authors.

Because I could not stop for Death (712)
by Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us –
The Dews drew quivering and chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity –

The Poems of Emily Dickinson, Ralph W. Franklin ed., Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Copyright © 1998 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Copyright © 1951, 1955, 1979, by the President and Fellows of Harvard College.


A passage from Asphodel, That Greeny Flower
by William Carlos Williams

It was the love of love,
the love that swallows up all else,
a grateful love,
a love of nature, of people,
of animals,
a love engendering
gentleness and goodness
that moved me
and that I saw in you.

Copyright © 1962 by William Carlos Williams



Sonnet XVII
by Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.


100 Love Sonnets: Cien sonetos de amor by Pablo Neruda, translated by Stephen Tapscott, Austin, Texas: University of Texas Press. Copyright © 1986.

St. Valentine's Day

Here I am again, conjuring memories of love found and love lost using Miriam's family history blogging/journaling prompt over at AnceStories2: Stories of Me for My Descendants. Appropriate for the upcoming holiday, she asks us about St. Valentine's Day.

What is the first Valentine's Day that you remember? How old were you or what grade were you in?

I really don't remember much about Valentine's Day in school. From what I do remember I didn't like: it was too much of a "popularity contest" what with the box to drop valentine cards up front. Perhaps, and I hope, it is different. I would think schools would use the opportunity to stress and teach love as a concept: the love of neighbor, the love of colleague, the love of co-student and confonting the problem of bullying. I think too much time is spent these days equating love with sex.

Did you have celebrations at school? What were they like? Were there games and refreshments?

I went to Catholic grade school for the first three years, so we learned more about St. Valentine. I really don't remember any celebrations except perhaps a mid-winter dance in high school on a Friday evening.

Did you make some sort of individualized Valentine "mailboxes" to hold the greetings you received? Or did the classroom have one big box? How were they (or it) created and decorated?

The classroom had one large box which the teacher usually decorated.

Did you buy or make Valentine cards? Did you include goodies such as lollipops, candy message hearts, or Hershey kisses?

Mom usually bought the box set of little cards that you'd put in envelopes and then place in the big box.

Do you remember the first boy or girl you had a crush on in school? Did you have the nerve to send him or her a Valentine? If so, what was their reaction/response?

Sort of. In Catholic school I was in the first grade and I had a crush on a very pretty Italian girl. Of course I was a wee boy of six at the time.

Did your crush send you a Valentine?

I don't remember - I actually think that the nuns frowned upon giving Valentines. They frowned upon most things.

How did you feel about Valentine's Day as a child? Was it fun and exciting, or disappointing and sad? Or were you simply bored with it all?

Not disappointed as much as bored and not realizing the big deal. As a teenager I was struggling with my sexual identity so it was difficult to address that let alone sending a Valentine.

As you got older, did you attend any Valentine's Day dances? Tell about your experiences!

Well during my ballroom dancing days, my dance partner Nancy and I would usually go to a Saturday night dance at the Avalon Ballroom in San Francisco. A great setup: no alcohol, no smoking, and pleasant, civil people who respected the ground rules. We both learned quite a bit from the older, more experienced dancers. And I, for some reason, had a flock of older women always asking me for dances. Perhaps it was my Billy Idol/peroxide hair.

What is the nicest card or gift you have ever received for Valentine's Day? Who sent it to you?

I always receive great cards from my partner. I can't say that any one is better than the other - but I've saved them all, as well as birthday and anniversary cards.

How do you celebrate Valentine's Day now?

I usually make a batch of gingerbread cookies - large hearts decorated with pink frosting. Then I have a sheet of "love quotes" that I print out. I cut them into strips with scrapbooking scissors and place them in the large cellophane corsage bags with the cookies. I call them Love Fortunes.

Do you remember hearing how your parents or grandparents celebrated Valentine's Day?

Not really - my family was never very open with affection including husband to wife, wife to husband, etc. If I ever saw my parents or great-grandparents hold hands it was something to stop and note. In a way that's kind of sad. I would rather note when they didn't hold hands or kiss each other.

1001 Reasons Why You Want To Be My Sweetheart

With this being close to Valentine's Day, I thought I'd post my annual list entitled "1001 Reasons Why You Want To Be My Sweetheart." My sweetheart and I are celebrating our 7th such holiday together this year.

I can't claim direct creation of this list. It started with a Craigslist post a few years ago and every instance I've ever seen is usually customized for a specific couple and has many new and funny as well as endearing lines.

By the way - this list is easily adaptable and I encourage outright stealing from me - as long as you promise to customize it with your own little quirks, jokes, good times and bad times - everything that you and your special someone share.

Be in peace and may you have much love.

1001 Reasons Why You Want To Be My Sweetheart

• I didn't vote for either George Bush
  


• I'm slippery when wet
  


• I make Martha Stewart look like a dirty hippie
  


• I'll make you laugh
  


• I know the difference between Sondheim and Webber
  


• I've never been in one of Tommy Lee's movies
  


• I can make a mean pot of Bolognese sauce
  


• I'll pretend I didn't see you look at that cute guy/gal
  


• I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops
  


• I recycle
  


• I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop
  


• I won't steal your vicodin out of the medicine cabinet
  


• I'll take care of you when you're sick
  


• I come with my own set of ear plugs in case of snoring
  


• I'll make fun of you
  


• I can give a great back rub
  


• I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson
  


• I don't care if you leave the seat up
  


• I've got cookies
  


• I take a shower every day, twice even sometimes
  


• I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
  


• I don't care that you go out with the boys/girls
  


• I don't eat crackers in bed too often
  


• I’ll always respect your parents and enjoy their company
  


• When you wash the dishes it turns me on
  


• My heart will jump every time you walk through the door
  


• I don't care if you cut your toe nails in the living room
  


• I'll save every card you ever give me
  


• I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming
  


• You just can't stop reading this!
  


• I've never even seen one episode of Dawson's Creek or Gilmore Girls
  


• I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know
  


• I adore your niece and nephew
  


• I think ordering in pizza and watching a movie is the ideal date
  


• I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
  


• I want to grow old with you
  


• I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue
  


• My kisses will take your breath away
  


• You'll never have to cook again
  


• My weird habits you'll find adorable
  


• You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
  


• My tiramisu is the bomb
  


• I'll thank you every time you open the door
  


• I’m just as happy with Crown Roast of Weenies as I am with filet mignon
  


• I'll never waste your love
  


• I love it when you’re opinionated
  


• I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny
  


• I'd never embarrass you in front of your friends or family
  


• It gets better every time
  


• I won't ever let you leave for work in the morning without your cell phone
  


• I’d follow you anywhere – and I have
  


• I don't have a big brother, so you don't have to worry about getting your butt kicked ever
  


• I'll help you find your keys
  


• I try not to pick my nose in public
  


• I like to dish
  


• I've never owned anything Hello Kitty
  


• I don't need batteries
  


• I eat red meat
  


• I can kill my own spiders and yours too
  


• I'll clean the house perfect every time
  


• I met John Waters three times
  


• I want to get married
  


• I'll always want more
  


• I smell pretty good most of the time
  


• I don't litter
  


• When I can I give to charity
  


• I can be ready in 30 minutes or less
  


• I look both ways before I cross the street
  


• I never look directly into the sun
  


• You're more hilarious than anyone I know
  


• I’m old enough to remember when the first space shuttle crashed
  


• I can balance a check book
  


• I'll help you not to forget your mom’s birthday
  


• I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre
  


• I’m really good at sneaking food into the movies
  


• I'll never say "nothing's wrong" when there really is
  


• I've never cried over spilt milk
  


• I know that being devoted to you means happiness, not a chokehold
  


• I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
  


• I've never smuggled drugs out of the country
  


• I never overload the washer
  


• I’ll take care of you no matter what
  


• What else have you got to do?
  


• I've never auditioned for American Idol
  


• I don't eat yellow snow
  


• My chin fits ‘just right’ in your shoulder when you hold me close
  


• I'm just that good
  


• I never had sexual relations with Bill Clinton
  


• I'm a pepper
  


• You're getting very sleepy . . .
  


• I've never been on Jerry Springer
  


• I may have already won $10,000,000
  


• You won't be able to get me out of your head
  


• I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear
  


• Flowers will get my attention every time
  


• I've never been caught lip synching on SNL
  


• I have a $22.82 credit at Borders
  


• I have clean socks that you can borrow if you run out
  


• I never run with scissors
  


• I know how to keep a secret
  


• I've never failed a survey
  


• I can almost every time find Waldo
  


• I never put my fingers in the light socket
  


• I'm a Capricorn
  


• I have all my shots
  


• I'm pretty damn funny
  


• I'm not a doctor and I've never played one on tv either
  


• I don't care if you eat off my plate
  


• When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet
  


• I know the difference between they're, their, and there
  


• You really like having someone to cuddle with on the couch
  


• I know how to get stains out of t-shirts
  


• I'm really good at making lists
  


• After reading this far you've already got too much invested anyways